Interestingly, sometimes when we try to lose ourselves, we end up finding ourselves. Such was the case for Kurt Cobain. I am a huge fan of Nirvana’s. They represent my generation in so many ways. One of the things I like most about them is that they just couldn’t run from their uniqueness and ended up embracing it. That is what makes Nirvana, Nirvana, the best band ever if you ask me.
You see, grunge had just taken off. Kurt and the rest of the band felt obligated to sound grungy. They did for the most part but they also had a one of a kind sound that some describe as “arty”. I am not sure how to describe it. It’s just…Nirvana to me.
Finally, the true colors of the band kept shining through. Kurt was then encouraged to write songs as he naturally did with his personal touches in the mix. The band was celebrated for its uniqueness rather than scolded for it…eventually. It was something that was in them that couldn’t be squashed. But that was what set them apart and made them great.
The more they tried to hide their unique sound, the more it seemed to come out. I can relate. It seemed to me in those days that the more I tried to do things that were expected of me, the less I became what was expected and the more I became the person I would be.
My parents wanted me to go to law school. My dad is an attorney, a pretty well-known one at that. He was just sure I would be one too. What made it worse is that he is a criminal attorney so he knew when my friends got in trouble and…when I did too. That made him furious but he did defend us and eventually we grew out of the getting into trouble phase.
But I never found it in me to go into law. In fact, far from it. I chose to go into first one thing and then another. I bounced from electronics to being an electrician, all in the name of NOT being an attorney. I knew my parents would totally freak if I sold my soul to music.
But in trying to avoid law and avoid doing what I love which is music, I finally found myself having tried darn near everything but those two things. I would not, could not bring myself to be an attorney so I conceded to music and found my love.
I’m not a singer or a musician although I wish I were. I am a writer so I write about music and actually write music as well. My parents are probably disappointed that I am not in the court room defending some criminal but they have accepted who I am. And the best thing is that so have I.
Like Kurt and the rest of Nirvana, I bucked being who I was but failed. I am who I am and am who I am still becoming. Thanks, guys…you taught me well!